Pull the other one pork

Sliders are awesome, no doubt about it. In case you don't know what I'm on about, I'm referring to those miniature burger bun sandwiches that usually come in a trio and are filled with delicious combinations like pulled pork, pickles and coleslaw. So, not the 90s sci-fi TV show about parallel universes with Vern from Stand by me? Er, no. Although that show was pretty awesome too.

These tiny culinary delights are nothing new. They're an American creation that was made popular ages ago by places like the burger chain White Castle, but it's taken us Aussies a bit longer to catch on. Initially a slow infiltration over the last few years into bars and restaurants, they're now everywhere. Forget about hotcakes and sliced bread, sliders are where it's at. They're popping up on more menus faster than you can say "Get in my belly!" and I'm mighty pleased about it. Slide this way you tasty bastards!

There's only one thing that's got me slightly annoyed - and that's the aforementioned, pulled pork. As one of the most common slider fillings, this term is currently being bandied about as much as Miley Cyrus and her twerk obsession. Sure, pulled pork is super tasty, but let's cut the crap. Nobody's pulled anything except the wool over the eyes of food snobs. I know it's slow cooked and all that, but really you've just taken bits of meat off a piece of pork like you'd do with a BBQ chicken. You don't hear anyone going around saying, "Hey come get one of my pulled chook sangers!" It's common sense. How else are you going to get the meat off the bone, suck it?

Pulled pork appears to be the latest craze of the food elite. Not content with sitting inside a slider, it's now also surfacing in salads and all kinds of other dishes. Pulled pork kebabs - why not? Pulled pork pancakes - you know it! Pull the other one.

My gripe is not with pulled pork itself, that stuff is delicioso. I just can't stand the fact that the food industry has decided it's cool and is now going to town on it. If you're an establishment that serves food and it's not on your menu then look out! Why can't places follow their own tastes and expertise, not food fads of the moment?

And while we're talking about restaurant wankerisms, here's some other menu items that have got my knickers in a twist:

Deconstructed anything
I do not want to see my meal either separated out like an anally retentive forensic scientist has been searching for DNA, or reinterpreted into some bizarre concoction that only resembles what I used to love. Lasagne comes in layers and should look and taste like lasagne. Quit the fancy.

Edible flowers
Flowers belong in the vase, not on the plate. They do not taste nice. Ever. Just because we can eat flowers, doesn't mean we should. I can eat poo if I really want, but I don't. So stop putting flowers on everything to make your plate look pretty people. I'm talking to you George Calombaris.

Anything - done multiple ways
Why would anyone want to eat just the one key ingredient cooked in a bunch different ways? I appreciate the skills involved in getting duck pancakes, duck liver pate and duck curry all on the one plate at the same time and at the right temperatures, but who wants to eat that? Duck off!

People just want to eat food that looks good, tastes delicious and fills them up (and hopefully doesn't make them sick). Restaurants, I don't think the Masterchef judges are sitting out there incognito waiting to pounce. It's time to get back to real food.

What dishes do you think are a load of pulled pork?

photo credit: entitee via photopin cc