Are you 'living the dream'?

This is not my arse (I wish it was). But it is my car.

A stranger told me this week that I was "living the dream" and now I can't get it out of my head.

Am I? What dream? When did this happen?

I can tell you one thing, she didn't tell me this last weekend when I was sat at the medical centre for two hours covered in hives, while my boys screamed the place down on the floor in a tantrum tornado.

Nope, she was a mum outside the kindy who spied me getting out of my car with the children for drop off. I have an old Mustang which I love, but probably should sell given we could really use the money and it's not the most convenient or safest of cars for travelling with children (not to mention he often needs a jump start and isn't very good for the environment!).

The woman was a Mustang lover and couldn't stop gushing about my car, to the point that I actually saw one of her children fall in the gutter trying to get into her car while she was too busy making star eyes at my coupe.

Her beaming face and parting words, "You're living the dream!" were so sweet, yet also really surprising (and a little stalkerish).

Am I living the dream? Well I suppose so if you happen to like Mustangs that is.

The strange thing is, I actually said the exact same thing to someone else a few days before this. I'd told it to a friend who is currently in the states for work, just chilling at Comic-Con and the Skywalker Ranch amongst other rad stuff as you do. So jealous!

You see I'm a massive film fan, particularly of legendary flicks such as Star Wars and Ghostbusters, and I am also bursting to travel around America. So I guess in telling my mate he was 'living the dream' what I really was saying was, you're living one of my dreams.

I have so many goals and desires it's ridiculous - both personally and professionally. Even if I fulfilled all of them right now, I'm sure another 50 would just sprout up in their place. Maybe I'm greedy, or just plain ambitious, who knows but I've got a hell of a lotta dreams.

In fact, I've got so many that I don't often stop to think about the dreams that I have actually achieved. Mustang Stalker Mum has opened my eyes on the matter because it's true, I did always want a cool car - tick!

I also wanted to be married and have children, and have a home on the Northern Beaches. And a cat. Ticks all round folks. And there's plenty more where that came from.

It's that age old wisdom isn't it? We're so busy focused on what we don't have, that we don't appreciate what we do have (it's kind of hard sometimes though when your children are always screaming in your face).

I am currently living the dreams of many people, including myself, yet have never really thought about it that way. Can certainly put a fresh spin on your life.

Anyway one thing's for sure, I'll be sure to remember this next time my car breaks down.

Are you living 'the dream'?

Photo credits: Photographer, Jason Ierace. Stylist, Emma Wood.
   

When parents are the ones who need to learn

Where are the lasers?!

You know those mice in experiments, the really dumb ones who keep trying to get the cheese even though every time they do they get zapped? Well that's me this week.

Firstly I bought an instant pasta meal at the supermarket for dinner. I used to like this particular dish for a treat every now and then but went off it a few years ago because I think they changed the formula and it tasted wrong. For some reason though, this week I thought it would be a good idea to give it a whirl. Maybe they've got the old flavour back? Maybe I was wrong before? Is that cheese I see dangling in front of the aisle? Man, I was seriously excited about dinner and couldn't wait to smack my lips around that tasty sauce.

ZAP! It was disgusting. This was one meal I couldn't actually blame the kids for not liking. Only my husband liked it. I KNEW it was crap so why on earth did I think it would magically taste awesome again? Why did I buy it?!

My next 'mouse moment' came when I broke my 'no TV before bed during the week' rule and let the boys watch a bunch of British children's shows about neurons and other 'educational' things while I collapsed on the couch.

ZAP! All hell broke loose. Screaming and crying about the telly being turned off, fighting over who then would get to turn it back on again to once more be turned off for good, screaming every step of the way into bed, and so on.

I know TV right before bed turns them mental, so WHY did I cave?!

And then yesterday, I took the boys to one of their favourites parks (which is about a 30 minute drive)...and brought sandwiches in my bag.

ZAP! From past experiences I knew to leave them in the car so why didn't I?! As to be expected, within seconds of getting to the park my eldest sat down and demanded sandwiches even though it was 10 o'clock and he'd had cheese and crackers on the way there (on top of breakfast of course). When I explained that it wasn't lunch yet and that we hadn't just driven there to sit and eat, the meltdown commenced and his brother joined in on the caterwauling.

So I caved and gave them one quarter each only. They played for a bit and then went in for round two. When I refused and tried to lure them back on the slides and other playground action, the craziness really kicked off. Both were screaming like their arms and legs were on fire, tears pouring down their faces, writhing in the sand in front of strangers... It's no wonder I burst into tears myself.

We finally left after I couldn't take it any more and guess what? On the trip home one of them didn't even want his sandwiches anyway. Toddler insanity.

Anyhow the point is I knew how that situation would unfold, plus dozens of others involving the boys that happen on a daily basis. So why do I keep going for the cheese when I know I'm going to get zapped?!

As parents we all want our children to learn from their mistakes, but in light of my recent behaviour perhaps it's us parents that really need to learn.

Mmmm cheese...


How often do you keep getting zapped?

Photo credit

How many children is enough?

Well hey there sexy readers! Unlike the title of this post suggests, no I haven't disappeared off the planet lately because I've popped out triplets and adopted two more babies from Africa to add to the pack - there's just been a few too many balls in the air than usual, so I'm afraid the circus had to shut the curtains for a while. Did you miss me?

I already know the answer (of course you did), but the question on my mind at the moment is a bit more of a challenge: how do you really know when to stop expanding your family?

This is a pretty hot topic right now amongst my group of friends and other mums I know who all have at least one child. And if it isn't already a daily thought swirling around in most of our heads, we're certainly reminded of it at least weekly at a BBQ, playdate or even the supermarket, when someone looks at your offspring and asks "Do you think you'll have any more?"

For some this can be quite a distressing question, especially those already struggling to conceive again, but I don't mind being asked. However what is quite amusing (annoying actually), is the amount of people (including complete strangers like taxi drivers and door salesmen), who assume I will definitely be going for a third because having two boys means I MUST be in need of a girl. I guess it's kind of like how parents with a boy and a girl, or a 'pigeon pair' as they call it (is that not the most ridiculous and annoying expression ever heard?); are always expected to shut up shop, cast off the ark, and stop procreating because Adam and Eve are in the house.

To anyone who knows me though, it's no secret that I really want a third (but I don't care what the sex is). I am one of three myself, love the family dynamic it brings, and have always wanted three children - despite my surprise at finding parenthood to be an insane rollercoaster ride. I realise having three loco amigos would mean my husband and I are outnumbered (a somewhat scary thought); but for me, adding one more cherub to the party would really complete our family.

Before you break out the Bonjela though, unfortunately for me the hubby isn't so keen. In fact, he's so unkeen that he's dying for the green light to go and get the snip. Hence the big question mark. Do I throw away all the baby stuff I've saved in case he changes his mind? Or should I accept that this is all of our family and start planning for future 'family of four' style package vacations? Whilst I am longing for another child (I think of names constantly and tear up at the thought of not being pregnant ever again), I have to also respect his thoughts on the matter, because we both have to be on board for such a big life decision.

Someone I know was in a similar situation recently but managed to completely change her husband's mind, and I also know several others where interestingly it's the father who wants more but the mum doesn't (who can blame any woman really when you think about the birth? Ahhh!). And then there are the friends who were convinced they were stopping at two and threw all the baby paraphernalia out, but now their youngest is getting older and their babymaking window is getting smaller, the question has arisen. And it does need to be answered because you can only put it off for a short time.

Most people are all for other couples having more children (in fact a little too keen sometimes, perhaps they want more families to be in the same boat as them?), but there are a few who blatently tell me not to do it (even though they don't have more than two themselves). I also sometimes think I'm being greedy for wanting a third child - I have two beautiful boys and love my family, so isn't that enough when there are people out there who can't even have one? And of course financially three will add extra bills to the table, not to mention the world is busting at the seams from over population.

It doesn't make the longing go away though. And it also doesn't help when two friends have both had a third recently, which begs another question, is how many children you have influenced by what everyone else is doing? I'd say in most cases yes, I mean no one wants to be the only octomum on the block, but for me I've always wanted three and envisaged this in my future.

And so another day passes pondering the question, is this it? Is this our family now?

Only time will tell if I will get my three musketeers (or Doc Brown after a quick trip in the Delorean). All I know is that I love rollercoasters, the wilder the better, so if the universe wants to up the anti, then I say bring it.

Is your family complete? Or are you still pondering the patter of more feet?

Photo credit: pnchydroponics.com